Identity Crisis

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." -2nd Corinthians 5:17

These past few weeks have been the result of an identity crisis. I feel like Jean Valjean in Les Miserables when he is running around singing "Who am I?" The truth is I have been trying to straddle two identities when my body and mind can only handle one. I have been trying to live out my identity as free in Christ but also base my identity around what my professors think. I have been trying to live out of both things on my own instead of just bringing it to God. As a result, I have not been passionate like I was this time last year. I have been miserable when I do my work, which is not me. 

I keep on trying to be a historian in my own strength instead of seeing my calling as something that God wants to use to glorify Himself as well as help me with. He does not want me to go all lone ranger on Him. He is desiring for me to come into His rest and allow Him to work through me. I have been so burdened with this that it has led to fear which has led to procrastination which has led to no progress. 

From this moment on I want to dwell on my identity in Christ. I am not sure how I will do this but I have decided to actively pursue it. This is a step that I do not know how to clearly move and I am praying that you will also pray for me in these things.